Once upon a time there was a non-conformist sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. Soon, however, the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south after all. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and the poor little bird fell to earth in a barnyard almost frozen. The sparrow thought this was the end, but presently a cow passed by and crapped on the little fellow. The sparrow now thought this was really the end, but the manure warmed him up and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy and able to breathe the sparrow began to sing. The barnyard cat, hearing the chirping, came to investigate. When the cat cleared away the manure, he found the sparrow, and promptly ate him.
There are three morals to this story:
1. Everyone who shits on you is not your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of shit is not your friend.
3. If you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!